I need a Vacation!

This is were I wish I were after today!! A beach paradise is the only solution to my problems :) Today was AWFUL!! We always seem to have a hard time at Church with River, but every week seems to be getting progressivly worse. What do you do to keep your children enterained during Sacrement meeting? I bring Toys, snacks, books, etc. but no matter what we only seem to last for about 15 mins if we are lucky! Then he has escaped or is screaming to the point that we have to take him out. Today was worse though, after giving him some goldfish crakers he started coughing and then started to gag. I quickly put out my hands in time to catch all his throw up. Tony and I just sat there for a minute not knowing what to do. I stood up quickly and tried to get to the bathroom without drawing to much attention to myself, unfortunatley we were a little late and had to sit on the second row! I had to walk in front of everyone with my hands full of throw up! All I could do was smile as my face turned red. Tony followed behind me with River so we could clean him up too. I cleaned my hands like five times, but couldn't get the smell of throw up off them! I tried to clean River's shirt that had gotten a little on it, but he still smelled like throw up too. I would have just left and changed him, but we had to teach the Marriage and Family class today so that wasn't going to happen. We tried to take Riv to Nursery, but as always he freaked out and started screaming and crying and wouldn't even let go of Tony. We didn't have time to fight it today so we had to bring Riv to our Sunday school class...Joy! So needless to say it was incredibly hard to focus on what I was supposed to be teaching while River was pounding on the piano, crying at my feet for me to pick him up, then "singing" aka screaming when I did pick him up, turning the lights off and on, etc. Tony finally just took him out in the hall. So I was left to teach by myself. I was so frustrated because I felt like the topic was such a good one, but it was just a jumble of mess by the end! The poor people who came to the class must have just been totally annoyed and I wouldn't blame them. Finally the mess of a lesson was over and I went in the hall to find River and Tony walking the halls while River threw a basketball down the hall. I got the basketball and took it back to the gym only to have River crying behind me and then bash his head on the door as I opened it to leave the gym. Really?! The wailing began again, but I was done! I told Tony I was not doing Relief Society today and we were going home. Every Sunday may not be this bad, but seriously they are all pretty out of control. I know every Mother feels this way probably, but I REALLY do have the worst behaved child in are whole ward! Tony and I always say after church that we must be the ward joke and the best form of birth control for anyone without kids! Sacrament is a nightmare only to be followed by another nightmare for the poor nursery leaders. He FREAKS when we take him and usually crys himself to sleep. Luckily for the leaders he will usually fall asleep. Please if you have a child that has gone through this...do you have any tips for me? If nothing else please tell me that he will eventually grow out of this! Sorry for the venting, River is never as bad as he is at church.

P.S. I really do know that this is all really funny and one day I will laugh out loud about it all :)